Food Is

Food defines us, food separates us, food is mother, comforter, confidant, aphrodisiac, upper, downer, life and our jailer.  Food is style, is class, is the staff of life.  We worship food yet despise food.  I’m five years old and helping my mother make chocolate chip cookies. I’m standing on a kitchen chair watching her break eggs into the dough.  I’m fifteen years old and my little sister is helping me make chocolate chip cookies.  She is carefully breaking the eggs and her little face is full of happiness.  I’m nineteen and obsessed with food; how much to eat, how little to eat, what is “good food.”  My little sister is thirteen and my heart aches for her.  I see in her a version of me.  I see in her a girl who will become a woman who will struggle to define herself as something other than a “big girl.”